Hobbits, an Elf and Isengard
by Dayna Marie
Summary: Dayna the elf comes across three hobits. Being bored they decided to go on a mission. YYYAAAYYY MISSIONS! Complete randomness.
1. Meetings

DS: I'm Dayna The Jedi Master Solo!

DNL: And I'm her padawan!

DS: She's LOTRDomnLijFreak. A.K.A. Ashley

DNL: This is a ran-DOM(get it Dom as in Dominic Monaghan?) story about LOTR. I like LOTR. It's awesome! (Rambles on about Lord of the Rings).

DS: I WANNA BE THE ELF! You can be the dwarf!

DNL: I'm a friggin' hobbit in this story, not a dwarf.

DS: DWARF!

DNL: No really I'm a hobbit in this thing.

DISCLAIMER:

DNL: We do not own Lord of the Rings or any of the original characters. I would I like to meet Dominic Monanghan and Elijah Wood though. OMG! THOSE TWO ARE HOT! (Rambles on about Dom and Lij)

DS: I'M J.R.R. TOLKIEN!

DNL: I don't think so.

Dayna the Elf skips though Mordor singing, "Their taking the hobbits to Isengard. Their taking the hobbit to Isengard, to Isengard, to Isengard!"

She then saw some orcs taking some hobbits Merry, Frodo, Ashley, and Alfalfa… TO ISENGARD!

"HOW IRONIC!" Dayna yelled

Ashley was looking around for help, the other hobbits appeared to be unconscious. She saw Dayna and mouth the words "HELP US!"

"I can't reads lips," Dayna said to herself, "I guess I'll go save them and ask that one hobbit what she said."

Dayna gave out the elfin war cry, "LOOOLOOOSHAKALAKADINGDONGWEEEE!" and started firing arrows at the orcs. She killed them all, but one of the arrows went up an orcs nose so she took the arrow out and wiped the snot on Merry's trousers.

"That's discussing!" Merry said, suddenly waking up from unconsciousness.

"Good for ya!" Dayna yelled and the hobbits, whose hands and feet were still bound. "Follow me!" She screamed.

"We can't, we're still laying on the ground." Ashley said.

"Good for ya!" Dayna yelled again.

Dayna noticed Alfalfa.

"You have a bad cowlick!" she stated, loudly.

"Ok..." Alfalfa said.

"Quiet you loud mouth elf!" Frodo said, " Do you want every orc in Mordor to here us?"

"Your right, I think I'll leave." She said and began to walk away.

"WAIT! You can't leave us here!" Ashley screamed.

"AHH!" Frodo screamed.

Everyone turned and looked at him.

"What is it?" Merry asked with curiosity.

"A MOTH!" Frodo screamed.

"Ok…" Alfalfa said again.

"Fine I will take you on this quest. Where are you going?" Dayna asked.

"Oh… we don't know. We were just kind of chillin' here until we knew were we were going."

"Ok, but I will have to give you the official greeting of my kind before we go." Dayna said and started kicking everyone in the butts, then they started off on their unknown quest.

DS: Well, there you have it.

DNL: A ran-DOM (claps and smiles) tee-hee, our work of awesomeness. REVIEW!

DS: Flames amuse us, they rock!


	2. Gimli the Pirate

DS: Hello everybody! Okay, it says on the first chappie that this is written by DS (Dayna The Jedi Master Solo aka Dayna aka ME!) and DNL (LOTRDomnLijFreak aka Ashley) but we haven't had time to sit down and work together so for now on either I'm gonna write the rest or me an' DNL will take turns. PS: DNL is wwwaaayyy more random (or as she would say ranDOMN) then me so BEAR WITH ME HEAR!

Review Replies:

**LOTRDomnLijFreak**DS: (Listens to Cowboy Troy and pretends to listen).

**endowed with insanity: **DS: I HATE YOU!

**rgfawkes**DS:Tell Corbin he's a sicko! **(To my readers: MY NAME IS NOT TINA!)**

**18: **DS:YOUR MEAN!

**Disclaimer:** I only own the secret life of Gimli the Pirate.

(DS: Okay, after I wrote all that crap Ashley decided to write this with me so she _is_ helping me. DNL: You spelled random wrong. DS: Deal with it! DNL: ha ha yeah, I was just kidding about not writing… ooooh the suspense you must have felt… but I'm evil…like a bowl of corn chips. )

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"I spy with my little eye…something…GREY!" Ashley screamed.

"Uhh… THAT ROCK, or…the other rock, or that one other rock, or that one or that one…" Alfalfa rambled.

"FISHSTICKS!" Merry yelled.

"YEAH! How'd you know?" Ashley asked.

"PO-TA-TOE" Dayna screamed/sang, while making some…well…potatoes. "Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. Boil 'em, mash 'em, boil 'em, mash 'em, boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew."

"Ahhh… the good 'ol potato song… lovely," Frodo sighed.

"ARGH! I'm Gimli the pirate!" Gimli the… umm… pirate yelled. (DNL: Where the heck did he come from? DS: My mind now shut up and listen to the uhh... story type thing.)

"Hey Gimli," Dayna said. "You wanna join our quest type thing?"

"ARGHHHH! What are we questing." Gimli arghed? (DS: Is that even a word? DNL: YES! Its…uhh… Gemaneeeenese. DS: Is that what the germs speak?)

"Ummmmm, we're not really sure," Dayna answered.

"FISHSTICKS YYYAAAAAYYYYYY! WOO HOO!" yelled Ashley.

"Arge! We're questing fishsticks?" asked Gimli.

"Ummmmm, no." Dayna replied. "BUFFALOS!"

"OK!" yelled Ashley.

"We need peanuts. Lots and lots of peanuts," Alfalfa rambled. "Never could get peanuts like you used to be able to get peanuts. I like peanuts."

"Why the heck are you rambling so frickin' much?" Dayna screamed.

"He always rambles." Merry said. "It's usually around when he has to use the bathroom."

Dayna backed away from Alfalfa very slowly. "Well then he's been holding it for a long time." She mumbled.

"We keep telling him to go…but he won't." Frodo threw a rock at Alfalfa.

"GO USE THE LITTLE BOY'S TREE!" Merry screamed.

"I don't like trees," Alfalfa stated. "Could I use a rock instead…or a … monkey?"

"No, but you may use a bush," Dayna rolled her eyes. "He's gettin' on my nerves." (A/N: DNL: Apparently I weigh a lot. DS: GET YOU BUTT OFF ME! DNL: YAAAY! I won!)

"I'm standing right here," Alfalfa said to Dayna.

"No you're not," Ashley said. "You're over there silly!"

Alfalfa gave her a confused look. "Really… 'cause the last time I checked I was right here." He looked around.

"Nope….you're diffidently over there," Merry said.

"Diffidently?" Alfalfa asked. "Are you sure that's a word 'cause the last time I checked… well I don't think it's a word. Are you sure I'm over there?"

"HIIIIIIIIIII ALFALFA!" Ashley screamed waving in the direction they assumed he was in. "BYE ALFALFA!"

"Bye? What do you mean bye? I'm right…" BOOM! There was urine everywhere… along with Alfalfa's flesh. He and his bladder had exploded from not urinating after 5 days of travalnationing. The others stood there for a while…then:

"WOO HOO!" The three remaining hobbits screamed.

"ARRRRG! YAAAYY-ARGGGED" Glimli arghed.

"FINALLY! HE GOOOOOONE!" Dayna yelled jumping up and down on Alfalfa's arm. Then she picked it up and tried some. "YAAAAAAAAAY CANABALISM!" she screamed then looked at the hobbits.

" Don't even think about it." Frodo glared.

"Think about what?" She asked.

"Exactly." Merry and Ashley said.

" I don't get it… think about what." Dayna added an arm to the soup. "Well…there weren't any rabbits around… and we did need some meat."

"EW! That probably had pee on it! You're discuseding." Ashley complained.

"I learned in my… elfanese-enan school that you could drink urine." Dayna said. "'Tis but a survival skill."

"Well your 'survival skills' are gross" Merry said.

"Thank-you." Dayna said. They sat there while Dayna ate her arm/urine/po-ta-toe soup.

"ARRRRG. Can we be off now." Gimli the pirate asked.

"Yeah! I'm bored!" Ashley said, chucking a handful of stones at Frodo.

"OK FINE! LETS GO!" Dayna put her soup in a to-go box, and they started off once again.

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DS: Tune in next week when we hang out in Mr. Rogers neighborhood.

DNL: Don't be expecting one next week…maybe next year. Also be expecting Gerard the sexy vampire to be appearing soon! YAAAAAAAAY GERARD! He's pretty. rambles about Gerard Way.

DS: And after that it's goin' to be raining men. Read and Review!

DNL: Review nicely children…buuuut… if you want to flame go ahead. Dayna has the bucket of water! YAAAY BUCKET! …I wonder if Gerard likes flames?


	3. The Death of Mr Rogers

SPY: I changed my name!!! I used to be DNL but now I am Simply Too Punk For You …or…SPY!!!

DM: And I changed my name tooo!! I am now PABLO!

SPY: Um…no you're not.

DM: Oh, right. It's now Dayna Marie. 'Cause I'm not that creative.

SPY: Whatever Pablo.

CLICK!

Disclaimer: I LIKE PIE!!!! Yeah, but sadly we do not own most of the things in this story. I do not even own my own house. Now that's depressing.

* * *

"And we're walking. Aaaaaaaaand we're waking. And we're walking some more. YAY!" Ashley sang as she and the other members of the group continued to walk…apparently.

"Would you shut up you stupid hobbit?" Dayna the elf yelled. "Seriously, I do not need to know that we are walking."

"Yeah…you do." Ashley jumped on a rock. It flipped over and nearly squished Gimli the pirate.

"ARGH! What ye be doin' that for you scallywag?" He yelled.

"YOU'RE THE DEVIL! DEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!" Frodo pointed at Gimli. "DEVIL!"

"BURN WITCH! BURN!" Merry threw a piece of cabbage at Gimli. They weren't quite sure where he got the cabbage from but, any who…

"I miss Alfalfa!" Ashley yelled, opening the to go box revealing Alfalfa's arm in it.

"MINE!" Dayna grabbed the arm and bit into it.

"Eww," The hobbits exclaimed.

"I'm over it." Ashley said, running over and jumping in a puddle of magic seahorses.

"NOO! Poor seahorses!" Dayna yelled.

The group stopped as they heard the sound of an old. wrinkled, sweater vest wearing man singing.

"Can you tell me how to get. How to get to Seas…Oh, wait, that's not the right song!I t's a beautiful day in this neighborhood, A beautiful day for a neighbor. Would you be mine? Could you be mine?"

"Old, wrinkled men scare me…" Merry said, hiding behind Gimli.

"Dude! Don't be scared of that wrinkled man! It's Mr. Rogers!" Frodo exclaimed.

Suddenly, they heard Mr. Rogers scream.

"Um, you mean _was _Mr. Rogers." Dayna sighed before they took off running in the general direction that they though they heard Mr. Rogers scream.

"Whoa, bloodsuckers!!!" Merry exclaimed.

There before them stood two vampires, sucking on old Mr. Rogers blood. The vampires turned around and glared at the group.

"Yo, dawgs! Why'd ya haveta go and suck Mr. R's blood like dat? Not cool, yo." Gimli the now gangsta pirate said.

"WHOA! Gimli's got mad skillz!!" Dayna exclaimed.

DM: GHETTO GIMLI!

SPY: YEYAH!

"The old man was going anyway." One of the vampires with long black hair said.

"If anyone asks, he got smooshed my an elephant." One that was short with a pink and black mohawk said.

"Elephants aren't real!" Frodo exclaimed.

"Yeah…they are."

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!" Ashley yelled, covering her ears.

"Well, believe it sistah," The one with the Mohawk said. "'Cause it's true!."

"Hey you're kinda cute." Ashley said.

"Why are your feet so hairy?" He asked.

"If you loved me that wouldn't bother you!"

"Dude I just met you!"

"NUH UH!"

"What's my name then?"

"PABLO!"

"No, it's Frank."

"Oh, that was my seventeenth guess."

"Hey Frank and the other guy whom I haven't learned your name yet." Dayna said.

"PABLO!" Ashley exclaimed.

"It's Gerard."

"… I was close."

"Do you guys want to go on our quest for centipedes?" Dayna asked.

"Argh, I though we be a questin' buffalos." Gimli said.

"Oh, right."

"I FOUND MY LOVER!" Frodo screamed.

They all looked over at Frodo. He was clutching a puppet that resembled a female duck.

"So I'm leaving the quest." He announced .

"Dude, you know that's a puppet right?" Merry stared at Frodo, a weird look played across his face.

"YOU'RE GONNA HURT HER FEELINGS!" Frodo yelled.

"Hey Frodo what's her name?" Dayna asked him.

"Steven…" He stared at them.

"Um…alright. Well we're leaving you know."

"Go away! Me and Steven need our time alone!" Frodo told them.

"So, are you guys coming or what?" Ashley asked Gerard and Frank.

"Um," They both looked at each other. "Sure."

The group started off once again. Yet again, they had lost another hobbit. Stupid hobbits. Anyway, yeah.

* * *

SPY: OOOOOOOOOH KAY!

DM: OMG! ASHLEY! You're a spy! I just now noticed that.

SPY: Um…no…I'm not. BUT, I do like pie."

DM: Yeah…it's grand.

SPY: REVIEW! Flames are welcome because I have the fire parade standing by.

DM: Fire bar grade?

SPY: No…


End file.
